Monday, August 14, 2006

expanding on a couple popular concepts

This film reminded me of the time I walked into the 7th Avenue Key Food and promptly collided with a twenty something female wearing a T-shirt that said:
"men should think with their brains"
I guess she was beyond caring that our entire species would be extinct if she got her wish. I was a little excited by the whole thing.

one face, three years

This short film is really cool...look for a blond wig. I like the music too.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I'm not the first procreater to wonder about the world into which I'm bringing new life. Sometime I worry about what the next 75 years will have in store for our little Hortence and Reginald.
Post-9/11 you have to ask whether New York City is the smartest place to raise a family. Some say it is only a matter of time before the religious lunatics burn the place down. While I'm not the sort to fret about cataclysmic changes, I like to be prepared. Since we're not moving to Hawaii any time soon, I seriously think about having a well-stocked second home in the country
I'm not the only one. Sales of country homes in upstate New York took off after 9/11 and have remained relatively strong. Many of the buyers are a cross-section of liberal New Yorkers who apparently decided that those "survivalist" dudes weren't totally off the mark after all. Run away and hide!
Luckily you can tell they aren't extremists by the Volvo station wagon they drive to the local Food Co-op. Come to think of it, if that is all that's left of humanity after the big one goes off, I'll just keep a bag of marshmellows in my desk.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Abs of Steel, Heart of Gold

Thanks to all for the happy birthday and baby wishes.

We found out last week that Arabella may be pregnant with twins. The ultrasound image certainly looks that way, but confirmation will be made by listening for two heartbeats. The doctors are going to listen for them on Thursday of this week. As a male masculine man, I am ecstatic about the prospect of having twins. 2 for 1! Bonus baby!

My wife seemed a little less thrilled. She has described it as being "terrified." To me it looked like a case of catatonia complete with the blank stare and repetitive rocking movements. But hey she'll be fine! I'll help with the laundry, honey! Move along, nothing to see here.

It turns out that Arabella is very enamored of her flat tummy (I like it, too). She showed me a website with photos of womens' abdomens after having twins. It looks like some did very well and others got stretched a bit, but none -- I mean not one -- looked remotely as bad as Star Jones. There isn't much I can say to make Arabella feel better about the esthetic risks of pregnancy except that I will love her whatever happens. And whatever she wants to do about it -- including nothing -- is fine with me.

I have my own issues. I have appointed myself Chief, Infrastructure and Systems. My job description is to create a fixed and functional infrastructure that will make possible the efficient feeding, changing, laundering, and playtime activities of newborn infant(s). A goal will be to allow at least 5 minutes per day of "grow up person time" or as some people call it "sleep." I know, I know...fat chance.

Once must lead by example. I will start with "my office." Because it is next to our bedroom it will become "the nursery." It has a big metal file cabinet, a tall overstuffed book shelf, two desktop computers and two printers. There are many wires and cables. That means a lot of books and office stuff headed to the basement for storage which means constructing an enclosed storage area in the basement. This enclosed area will just happen to have enough room for a barcalounger and mini-fridge.

I like to imagine that a thousand years ago, somewhere in Europe, my male ancestor was busy gathering brush and sharpening his flint cutlery in preparation of the arrival of his first born. I hope he wasn't as nearsighted as me 'cause I don't think they had eye glasses yet.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Super Freak

Wow...down to a monthly post. Pretty lame. Hopefully I can turn things around now that life has calmed and I am settling in to summer mode. I love summer. It seems like a return to the carefree apsects of childhood without losing your hard-won adult privileges, like being able to stay up past 9 o' clock.

Yesterday was Flag Day, and my Third Wedding Anniversay. Thanks Arabella! Marriage has been fantastic and has gotten progressively better. My wife and I relate very well and rarely fight. Now. But during the first year we had some conflicts while we worked out the details. There was one loud fight a few months after we got married where I threw the remote control and she threw a glass on the floor and it shattered. It was great. I was always a little emotionally guarded so I semi-intentionally heated things up to prove we both had permission to freak out a little bit if necessary and then make up. Afterward we made up. We always do.

If it takes a little yelling once in a while to make sure you get problems aired out, that is much better than bottling up anger and resentment for years until your spouse begins to "work late" at the Motel 6 to get even.

And for all you guys out there who are wondering...yeah, I was able to fix the remote. I was huge relief.

Monday, May 15, 2006

It Was Like A Dream Come True...

Now more than ever, the world needs to be governed by the most intelligent, learned, and ethical people. Aggressively pointing out the endless errors of the lesser mortals who make things and manage our affairs it a great service to humanity. Yet it is not enough. We need to turn over the reigns of government and business to reporters and editors. We beg of you, please repair all that has gone wrong.
Who among the most brilliant should assume direct control of our collective futures? In the world of journalism, most can agree that the BBC is super brilliant. But can we be certain that BBC should rule the world rather than CNN, or some combination of Harper's and The New York Review of Books? Well, let us take this opportunity to revel in the brilliance of the BBC as it analyzes an important legal decision concerning a dispute between a global business enterprise, Apple, and the business arm of one the world's most successful commercial artistic groups, The Beatles.
For the video, please click on the link in the article.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Heart Arabella

Arabella had elective surgery today, a laparoscopy to explore her reproductive system and possibly correct problems they might find. Thankfully the surgery went well and she is home resting comfortably. She should be back to normal within a week. They found some moderate issues but nothing too serious. The doctor said she will be able to conceive and that is great news.

Knowing she was going to have surgery has been pretty stressful. If we were on one of her favorite shows -- 'Dr. 90210' -- before the surgery I would have said, "Arabella is having a laparoscopy today and I'm pretty nervous about the surgery." After the surgery, I would have said that "I'm glad the surgery went well and I think Arabella will feel better knowing that we can have children. I'm really happy." Here I will say, "I'm glad Arabella's home so she can watch The Golden Girls and eat Brooklyn Blackout Cake."

I was not enthusiastic about Arabella having this surgery. I like to let nature take its course. I am a very lucky man to have a wife so brave that she would have an operation just to see what is going on down in Cooterville. Arabella gets my loving vote for The Best Wife in the Universe, Ever.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I, Wine Collector

One way you know life is going well is when you have sufficient resources to buy a refrigerator, not to preserve life-sustaining food, but to store wine. This past weekend we brought home a 32-bottle wine refrigerator. I wanted to maintain my reputation for being value-conscious by buying a Kenmore, but what clinched my choice was the fact that it received a best rating in a 2005 Consumer Reports review. We even went to Sears and brought it home ourselves to save the $80 delivery fee. I am a humble oenophile of the people.

From time to time I will be able to purchase a bottle of fine red wine, at a cost of $25 to $75, and put it aside for a special occasion knowing it will not be damaged by seasonal changes in temperature. I can also chill bottles of sparkling or white wine and save room in our primary refrigerator.

I have always wanted a hobby. Since I am a contemporary American adult, that usually means doing some research about a class of things you can buy, and then buying those things on a regular basis. The shopping and the buying is fulfilling in and of itself, of course. But it is the research that provides both the patina of hobbihood, and something to talk about with friends and family besides your job, your kids, or your dreary politics. Depending on what you choose as your hobby, and how and how often you choose to discuss it, they might actually be a little thankful.

I am now officially a "wine collector". How I love the sound of that. In pursuing my hobby I will continue my subscription to Wine Spectator magazine so I can get tips on great bottles of wine. Most importantly, I will go wine shopping on weekends, while on vacation, while casually strolling the streets of Manhattan on my lunch hour. The "challenge" will be to remember the names and attributes of the wines I purchase so I can tell people about them at social events. If they are fortunate, and if they politely listen when I talk about wine, I may invite them over to taste some of the wine. If they don't drink, or utter words suggesting that they consider an intellectual interest in a fermented grape beverage to be pretentious, I will instead tell them a very long and detailed story about my job and then perhaps segway into a exegesis about Congress, the Constitution, and the institutional aspects of pork barrel spending. This might inspire to them to taste several large glasses of Barolo or Cotes du Rhone and like it very much.